Why Do Partners Have Affairs? Part II

Note: This is Part II of a four-part series of blog articles. Here I will introduce 4 more of the reasons for affairs. In the preceding article Part I plus the 2 other follow-up articles Parts III and IV, entitled “Why Do Partners Have Affairs? Part I, Part III and Part IV”, I will present the remaining reasons for infidelity.

15 Possible Reasons Why Partners Stray-Off

In the previous article I presented the first 3 reasons why a partner may stray. Here are 4 more of the 15 reasons partners may roam away:

  1. Conflict Avoidance

Not all relationships last and many terminate in separation or divorce. For some partners, conflict and withdrawal can be frightening and too much to bear. Rather than confront the problem maturely and directly, a partner may avoid communicating their troubles and then act-out in betrayal rather than daring to discuss their concerns openly. When the affair is uncovered, a blow-up is ignited and this realization forces the couple to deal with their marriage – to improve their relationship or to take steps to separate.

  1. Emotional Distance/Loneliness

Quietly over time and unbeknownst to the couple or one partner, an emotional distancing may grow between partners. Or the emotional withdrawal may be caused by perpetual conflict that forces one partner to become lonelier and more vulnerable to a new outside connection. Instead of talking about the issue directly or getting into couple therapy, one partner may seek and find support and comfort outside their established relationship. They may enjoy the close connectedness and passion with an outsider. This partner may have lost hope and infidelity may be their way of solving the emotional distance and loneliness.

  1. Entitlement/Narcissism

There are some adults who feel that they deserve to get what they want. They feel like they are important and entitled to more than others get. So, they pursue what they want without much consideration for their partner. Attracting an affair partner may affirm or make them feel wanted, attractive or powerful. When their affair is discovered, these self-centered “unfaithful partners” justify their behavior or blame it on their partner.

  1. Thrill Seeking

Some men or women seek outside sex and relationships because it is exciting for them. They enjoy taking risks and/or deceiving others. Sometimes this involves living a secretive and duplicitous life. For these philanderers, it may feel good to be on the “edge” of danger of being caught. Each successful escapade gives them a positive emotional thrill and creates a positive sense of energy, passion, euphoria and aliveness inside them which they cannot or will not duplicate in their existing marriage/relationship.


Go to Parts I, III and IV to read about the other 11 reasons for infidelity. See the link below.


Devices Make Affairs Easier to Commit

Your computer and mobile phone can be an easy conduit to betrayal. Thanks to modern technology, you can break someone’s trust instantly and unintentionally. These days, your partner can be secretly cheating while sitting right next to you in the car!

The cyber or digital world allows for easier and more sexually arousing communication and flirtatious seduction that can be very exciting and alluring. For some, the communication turns into stimulating images and fantasies that motivate making plans to get together, taking risky actions and gaining pleasure from an outside other.


Can Therapy for Infidelity Help?

Infidelity is a relationship problem. In couple counseling, you and your partner can learn how to share your inner thoughts and feelings. You can both develop healthier ways to communicate. As a couple in therapy for infidelity, you can discuss the progression of your relationship, the violations, how and why the affair happened, and how to move forward into a more satisfying marriage or partnership.

This type of relationship therapy is not easy work. With the help of an experienced and unbiased guide, you can take the necessary steps to heal and reconnect. It is entirely possible to create a fulfilling new future together.


To read Part III, click this link: 


For more information about “Therapy for Infidelity”, please visit my web page at: http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/therapy-for-infidelity/

I have also posted a number of other articles about infidelity and affairs on this blog. You can find them by clicking on the blog category here: http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/therapy-for-infidelity/


If you want to understand why your affair occurred and improve your relationship, then please call me at 805-448-5053.

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